Boarding School Memories

Stories Of My Time At Boarding School

Oakdene School for Girls

Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire

1978 - 1984

Hello, I'm Sophie

I was a pupil at Oakdene from 1978 to 1984. I did have some happy times there, but on the whole boarding school was not a positive experience. It was certainly formative, and what it formed in me were ways of being in the world that have been both very helpful in my life and also rather debilitating. That is true of all life experiences. I would not have escaped the challenges of growing up by staying at home, so I don't regret my time at boarding school. For many years I didn't think about school all that much and rarely talked about it. I didn't think about the impact that being sent away from home at the age of eleven had had on me. I didn't want to acknowledge that some of it might have left a painful legacy. Writing my stories, allowing myself to remember what it was like for me, has been truly reparative.

The process of remembering and writing has helped me understand myself better. Today I have more compassion and patience for the parts of myself that I sometimes find hard to accept. By spending time thinking about my days at boarding school in so much detail, caring enough to make every moment, every experience count, I have given myself the care and attention that I did not receive during my years away at school. I feel a little shy and vulnerable sharing them here, so publicly. I’m not sure why this feels like the right thing to do, to publish them in this way, and yet it does. So here I am.

These stories are my personal memories. They are factual in as much as I remember them the way I have written them. And I know that some of what I have written will not have happened exactly as I have described. The dialogues are not verbatim. They are my best recollection of what I and others said. Sometimes I have written what I imagine was said, knowing that my memory has not held on to all the details accurately. I am very grateful to the Oakdene School Facebook page and the women there who have posted many photos, some of which I have borrowed to illustrate my stories.

If by chance you find yourself in these stories, you may not agree with my recollection of events. Do get in touch and let me know if there is anything you find problematic, if I have portrayed you in a way that you are not comfortable with, or if there is something you would like me to remove or amend. I have no wish to misrepresent or offend anyone.

If you too went to boarding school or maybe even to Oakdene, I’d love to hear your stories if you want to share them in the comments.