25. The Cullimores

Now that Audrey has come to Oakdene, Mummy and Daddy say I have to have new guardians. The Feasys are best for Audrey because Jonathan and Jason are closer to her age than mine, so they are going to be her guardians and I'm having new ones. It doesn’t seem to have mattered up to now that they were not a good fit for me from the start, but I won’t say anything. I am not sorry, not one bit. I’m very happy that I don’t have to go there again. And I am nervous about meeting the Cullimores. I don’t know them, I have never met them. What if I don’t like them? More importantly, what if they don’t like me?

My new guardians, the Cullimores, are called Gerry and Barbara (aka Bar). I feel very lucky and relieved when I meet them because Jerry and Ba are truly lovely people. They have one grown up daughter who has just left home, so I think I’m a kind of replacement. They live in Penn which is a little village very near Beaconsfield. I know their phone number by heart  already (because I hear Bar say it when she answers the phone) Penn 2254. I like the sound of it. I like the sound of her voice when she picks up the receiver and says  “Hello… Penn, double two five four”. She says hello in a singsong way, always sounding happy to be answering the phone. The whole greeting sounds like a bit of a song.

Gerry picks me up on a Friday after school in his Porche. It's fast and sporty and it's thrilling sitting in the snug leather passenger seat as we whizz down the school drive. Gerry and Bar live in a very nice, very big house. I stay in their daughter’s bedroom. It’s a large room overlooking their beautiful garden. There is a double bed made up with a Laura Ashley duvet cover in tiny blue and white flowers and it has one of those wavy valances covering the base. There are lots of little cushions and the bed has a luxurious padded  backboard. It’s the opposite of the sort of thing Mummy likes. She doesn’t like dainty, pretty, frilly things. I like it though, even though it feels so alien and not like me at all. It’s so pretty. I feel like I’m in a fairy tale. I’m definitely out of place here. This sort of room is not for girls like me. I even have my own bathroom, en-suite. I have never had an en-suite.

Bar and Gerry are amazing cooks. They make the best Sunday lunch. They cook together, which is really funny. Daddy never helps Mummy in the kitchen and I don’t think I ever saw John cooking with Penny. Jerry loves pottering in the kitchen with his stripy apron on. He’s a very tall, broad man with white hair and warm, friendly eyes. His deep voice sounds velvety and kind and he seems to take great pleasure in showing me things and talking to me. He is a gourmand, a lover good food. There’s always something roasted on Sundays. Sometimes fish, sometimes meat. And lots of roast potatoes and veg. I tried broccoli for the first time last exeat. It was steamed and drenched in butter. It tasted amazing and I was mesmerised by the texture of the tiny little buds on my tongue. I chewed it very slowly. I love it. I love the sensation in my mouth. It’s extraordinary.

Bar and I spend the days together. She takes me to London to see interesting things. No. 1 London with it’s huge dining room and many gold rimmed, porcelain, dinner services. We go to the Royal Academy and Fortnum's. We go shopping to the new Waitrose in Beaconsfield. I feel special. And I'm worried and nervous.

I have to be good. I have to be polite. I have to look nice. I have to behave. I have to know what to say. I mustn’t make any mistakes.

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Bar and Gerry clearly enjoyed having me to stay. They would make a real effort at every exact, planning meals and outings and getting my room ready. This was such a stark contrast from my previous Guardians and I think helped to make those years a little less stark. I only went there twice a term but it did make a difference. Even though I never felt at ease there, always on my best behaviour and worried about doing something wrong, I am incredibly grateful to have had these two people in my life for a few years.