29. Straw Dogs

Once or twice a term we have a special treat on a Sunday afternoon. The large projector is wheeled into the hall and we all watch a film together. I love these film afternoons. We used to have to sit on hard wooden chairs in rows but this year something has changed. Today Matron said we are allowed to bring our duvets and blankets down from the dorm to make ourselves cosy on the floor.

I’m fascinated by the whole setup. The 16mm films come in big metal tins and the huge projector screen has been pulled down from the ceiling on the school stage. It’s almost as good as being at the cinema.

Miss Havard announced at breakfast that we have a treat in store, the film this afternoon is a nice film about horses. Lots of girls at Oakdene love horses. I am not a massive fan of films about animals but I don’t dislike them. It might be fun.

We are all settled in our dens, huddled on the floor in groups of 3 and 4. I’m with Nicky and Mandy, Caz and Emma next to us. I have a pack of Caramel Wafers and some Monster Munch and I’m wrapped up in my duvet. There’s something homely about today. Not that this is something I ever do at home of course but it feels cosy and comforting.

Someone switches the lights off and the credits roll. One hundred and forty faces stare hopefully up at the huge screen.

Five or ten minutes into the film I’m bored.

“It’s a bit boring isn’t it?” I whisper to Mandy

“Yeh” she agrees, nodding, mouth full of chocolate.

It’s a tedious story and it doesn’t seem to be about horses. If I’m honest I don’t really understand what’s going on. It starts becoming violent and aggressive and we’re all wondering what it’s about and why Havard chose it.  So far no horses.

And then, suddenly a woman is being raped, it’s shocking and strange. Our eyes are glued to the screen, we’re transfixed, not sure how we’re supposed to react. This is not a nice film about horses!

“Oh dear” Miss Havard says, sounding very frazzled. “The projector seems to be overheating”.

The film stops suddenly as she turns the projector off. There’s a kerfuffle around the machine, various teachers and Havard all whispering and looking worried.

“Right girls, I’m afraid there’s a problem with the projector, we won’t be able to finish the film”.

It’s all very strange. I’m looking around at everyone and we don’t know what to make of it. We’re all giggling, a bit embarrassed and a bit amused. It’s absurd. We all know that the projector wasn’t overheating!

“I think the actors were overheating a bit!” says Caz with a knowing smile.

I’m so disappointed. I love film Sundays and after just fifteen minutes it’s all over. Disappointment is not new at Oakdene. I am learning to live with the feeling only too well. I don’t expect much, which helps.

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Years later I found out that the film rental company had sent the wrong film. Straw Dogs. A notoriously violent film. Apparently the title of the film we were supposed to see sounded similar, I can’t remember what it was. Straw Horses maybe? It would have been an easy mistake to make I imagine.

The story of innocent boarding school girls being exposed to rape and brutality becomes headline news in the local paper. The school tries to hush it up. My parents have no idea what goes on at school so they never find out and I don’t tell them.